We have a literal blind spot in each of our eyes, a place where there are no receptors, a spot where we just can’t see. It’s the spot where the optic nerve head sits in the retina. Or something like that. It’s been a pile of years since my biopsych class in college but you can google this stuff.
When we’re taking in the visual world, we don’t see a blank spot in our field of vision because each eye compensates for the other. When we have only one eye open or functioning, it’s still hard to detect the blind spot because our brains fill in the missing information in a way that is seamless to us.
Our logical selves have a blind spot, too.
We take in information and our brains fill in the rest so seamlessly that we often don’t recognize the fabricated bits.
That’s why it’s so hard to edit our own writing; our brains correct as we read along because they know what we meant to say.
It’s also why it’s so very hard to notice when we’re making assumptions.
For example, there was this time, ’round about 22 years ago, when a friend called me at work. I didn’t recognize his voice right off and he tried to make a game of it, he wanted me to guess. This was in the first months after I was attacked and I was wickedly short on sense of humor and wildly quick to trigger. By the time I figured out who it was, I had gotten pretty surly and ended the phone call before we could smooth things over.
No one in our circle heard from him for the next couple of years.
I agonized over it. I had known he was dealing with his own challenges. Clearly, he had reached out to me for support, was trying to bring levity in, and I destroyed the possibility of him confiding in me. It was a last straw – or among the last straws – and he had left all of us behind in despair.
When he resurfaced, I apologized profusely for my callousness.
He had zero recollection of the call.
Turned out that my very logical deduction was a wee bit different than what actually happened. He had, in fact, fallen in love, bought an RV, and took off to enjoy the road with his sweetheart.
Blind spot.
Assumptions.
Just as it takes tools to notice our optic blind spot, noticing our logical ones often takes an extra effort; a thoughtful outside source can be mighty helpful, too.
The first courageous step, though? Being willing to admit that we don’t always perceive things as clearly as it might seem.
Chin up, eyes open, friends. You’ve got this.