The Blog
Here’s where I share thoughts on the work of moving toward our biggest lives and baddest selves.
For the love of disruption
I have a challenge for you this week: Answer the question “How are you?” honestly. I know, I know. The correct response, the expected response, the comfortable response for everyone involved is, “Fine, thanks; you?” And then the other person says, “Fine” or “Good” or...
The Moldy Maraschino of Selflessness
A bunch of years ago, back during my first marriage, there was this one particular visit with his family. My then-hubby was a little ramped up about it, as many of us can get in the run-up to a visit that evokes a complexity of feelings. I got a little ramped...
Big Emotions and Bad Behaviors
Theresa and I are streaming a show that can be summarized as what a soap opera would look like if made by the production crew at Hallmark. Honestly, I pick on it mercilessly and then I easily go back for more. Like I said, soap opera qualities. In a recent episode, a...
Falling in love is so 1993
A client recently described to me the difference between falling in love and rising in love, a concept she had seen on a cleverly worded social media post. It rang as true in my heart as in hers, that falling in love is gravity, it is easy, it is effortless. It...
Love and Rage sittin’ in a tree…
What does it mean – what does it look like, act like, feel like – to allow for rage and love at the same time? This is the question that Valarie Kaur’s moving and intimate book, See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love has been inviting me to ask...
When Enough is Truly Enough
It was just one of those days. It was a Sunday, a day when Theresa usually works and I usually spend the better part of the day cooking for the week. I woke a little edgy from bad dreams. Out of the window was a fresh blanket of snow that soon led to a text...
Me and Sayjal Went to the Mall: A Reflection on Cultural Norms
I was just barely 13 when she was born, the grandchild of an unlikely friend. I suppose that made me her unlikely friend, I who was a random somewhat-older person who delighted her with pratfalls at her toddler command; who became the assistant leader in a Girl...
When 5 Seconds Leads to Life Change
We are a reactive species – we’ve talked about this before, and we’ll talk about it lots more to come because moving from reactivity to responsiveness is one of the great challenges and opportunities of our personal development. First off, what does that even...
The Blacklist and My Commitment to Nonviolence
We are fans of The Blacklist, the crime show where James Spader plays a fabulously bizarre crime superstar, Raymond Reddington. By his side, and arguably the most interesting and underutilized character of the series, is Dembe Zuma played by Hisham Tawfiq. Dembe is...
The Snow Globe Twins: A Story of Oversimplification
Picture two sisters, twins, twinkly-eyed visual copies of one another. As children, they experienced hardship of a variety that was far worse than experienced by many and far easier than many others. No matter the comparisons, though; their hardship was their...