Liferafts and Sturdy Piers

Many years ago – another lifetime it sometimes seems – a friendship of more than a decade ended. Truthfully, it had been fading for some time by then. Still, it wasn’t me who pulled the plug when my friend took up with a married man. It was she who, underwhelmed with...

31 Thoughts about Letting Go

I did something over the weekend that feels pretty radical to me. I pulled 31 books off my shelves. It started with three business-related books, one that I had read, two that I had been carrying with me from home to home, imagining I would someday read them. I plumb...

The Blacklist and My Commitment to Nonviolence

We are fans of The Blacklist, the crime show where James Spader plays a fabulously bizarre crime superstar, Raymond Reddington. By his side, and arguably the most interesting and underutilized character of the series, is Dembe Zuma played by Hisham Tawfiq. Dembe is...

A PSA for my Fellow Helpers

One of the things I love about my work is that I get to be a part of big, life-changing work without being involved with life-threatening situations. Crisis counselors, E.R. docs, EMTs: Brava. Really. There are times – many times, I would imagine – where your...

It’s Us FOR Them, not Us OR Them

During a workshop on stress reduction that I facilitated last week, a woman noted that her challenge with boundaries – for example, the inner debate she experiences about answering the phone when a client calls at 8pm – was that it felt like a choice between herself...

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