If you’ve never been to a Passover seder, lemme tell you, this thing can last for ages.
The seder is the ritualized meal of Passover. It has its own book called a haggadah filled with the prayers, songs and, most importantly, story of Passover. Do the whole thing, and you’re at the table for hours and well into a rumbling tummy by the time you get a break to eat some matzoh ball soup.
My mom and I are fans of this ritual. We particularly enjoy the songs, one of which is really a rather sordid tale of mishaps that builds on itself along lines of: My dad bought a goat that a cat ate then a dog bit the cat and a stick beat the dog and a fire burned the stick and, well, you get the idea. It ends with the Angel of Death coming for the guy who killed an ox and as grusome as the whole thing is (now that I think about it), the singing of it is nothing but delightful.
Passover for two in 2017
Over the years, my mom and I have planned seders that have involved stretches of folding tables and chairs and every place setting we could muster. Last year, it was just the two of us, joined at a beautifully appointed table by a stuffed frog related to my recently-passed grandmother.
This year, it was us and a fun family of friends including two little girls who have been learning about the holiday at the Sunday school of a local synagogue. We did maybe 5% of the ritual before pulling the big pot of matzoh ball soup into the dining room followed quickly by the rest of dinner and sending the kids on the traditional treasure hunt for pieces of matzoh called afikomen. (Traditionally, the afikomen is considered dessert. We don’t cotton to the idea of an oversized cracker for dessert; my mom makes meringue cookies instead.)
Each year, my mom and I take time after the meal for a post-game review: Did we enjoy the seder? Did it give us that feeling of holiday? Was it enough?
Despite the brevity of the ritual this year, the answer was a big 10-4. For me, it was a joyful, playful evening filled with foods I only eat during Passover. It was a lovely excuse to spend time with a family we enjoy yet don’t often see. We may not have told a ton of the story of the Exodus from Egypt (which is not only the point of the ritual but also the obligation of the holiday) but I think we honored the spirit of both connecting to our Jewish history and to our ongoing commitment to those who are now impoverished, embattled, or in need.
For me, it was a time to step away from life-as-usual and bring a special intention and attention to the day.
As I look forward into my life – to my upcoming milestone birthday in June, to the work I do and the events I’m planning, to the holidays to come – it is this intention and attention that I’d like to lead the way. And for me, that’s yet another mindfulness practice: Stepping outside of the reactivity of to-do lists and ego and social comparison, and instead refocusing on intention and attention time and again in order to create the best days, hours, minutes that I can, moment by moment.