When the Doing Follows the Being

I’ve been in the midst of a very slow-rolling project of scanning and organizing all of my photographs for some time now. During a recent dive into a folder, I found a scan from just last year. It was a simple collage I made in January 2020 to illustrate one of my three words for the year: Decisiveness. Striding boldly across an Ansel Adams-captured landscape is a full-figured model who looks like she is feeling herself in the most empowered way.

Circling her was text that I wrote describing what I hoped to embody in what I saw in her, that I heard in the word “decisiveness.” The text starts with, “I am [noun], therefore I [verb].”

Seems so straightforward.

I am a coach, therefore I coach.

I am a writer, therefore I write.

I am a partner, therefore I partner.

Or maybe it’s a touch complex.

I am a coach, therefore I access my intuition, ask challenging questions, reflect back the wholeness of what I see.

I am a writer, therefore I collect the most expressive words into the most meaningful sentences I can in order to convey specific messages.

I am a partner, therefore I offer presence, communicate with vulnerability, love consciously.

Except really it’s much more challenging.

I am a coach, a writer, a partner, therefore I:

Notice my discomfort and move toward it instead of away.

Acknowledge my missteps and endeavor to learn from them.

Accept fear, vulnerability and awkwardness as a part of the process.

Embrace recharging as a necessary part of staying energized for the work, and work to catch fearful avoidance when it masquerades as a need for self-care.

Fail to do all of these things time and again, and then recommit to doing them.

There is no growth without discomfort.

There is no change without growth.

(Yes, this is part of the work of social justice, too.)


It sure isn’t the best marketing pitch but a huge part of the work I do as a coach is guide people into a more actionable relationship with discomfort so that they can engage with the growth and make the change that not only impacts them and their lives, but everyone they touch… and everyone the people they touch touch, and so on out. The work of moving toward our biggest selves and creating our baddest lives is integral to the work of creating a better world. If you’re ready to move toward your discomfort thoughtfully, productively, and even with a surprising amount of laughter, I’m here.