The Blog
Here’s where I share thoughts on the work of moving toward our biggest lives and baddest selves.
Gift Budgets and the Pain of Uncertainty
Last week, I messaged Theresa from the aisles of a store: “How much trouble will I be in if I go a little over our gift budget?” On this, our third holiday season together, Theresa and I set a $50 gift budget based on the idea that we both have what we need and much...
“I am brown and you are peach,”: More Wisdom from the Youngest Among Us
“I am brown and you are peach.” Last month, I sat at a table at a community dinner and listened to a 5th grader tell this story of a conversation – confrontation, really – she had in 1st grade. She didn't tell us what led up to the teacher's insistence that the...
When Netflix Nurtures and When It Numbs
I cancelled dinner with friends on Saturday. I spent the morning feeling gross in a way that I’m pretty sure had to do with a combo of sinus pressure and nasal drip and then finally decided to send the text early afternoon with my apologies. I asked Theresa to join me...
Unfortunately/Fortunately: A Perpetual Gratitude Practice
Next Sunday will mark the 3rd anniversary of the death of a man I always called Daddy Harold. I was in my 20s when I realized not everyone called him that. In fact, the only people who called him that other than me were my mom and his wife, and only when they were...
Hubba-hubba, Gratitude – Lookin’ Good!
I knew a woman who did all the gratitude practices – the journals and songs and dinnertime rituals with the kids and more – who seemed basically miserable to me. I spent a good bit of time mulling over that paradox: How can a person so intentional in her...
Assumptions about an Active [Shooter?] [Situation?] [Human?]
I’m writing this at 7:30 on the morning of Thursday, November 14, 2019. An hour ago, I got a call from one of my closest friends. He happens to live five or so blocks away on the same street as us. His aunt had called to alert him that there was an active shooter...
The Sunny Side of Imposter Syndrome
Though the term “imposter phenomenon” and I are birth-year twins – give it up for 1978! – it’s only been in recent years that what we’ve come to call Impostor Syndrome has gotten mainstream attention. Impostor Syndrome: That nagging gremlin voice that says, “I’m a...
Embracing the Fire of our Anger
A few years ago, I sat down with a piece of poster board and a mug filled with markers and I started exploring anger. Something in me could sense that my attempts to banish anger from my emotional reality was only gumming up the works, sometimes functioning a little...
Certainty and the Meanest Gremlin Gabbing
The whole gremlin thing, it’s a way of bringing some levity and accessibility to a really challenging part of ourselves. I realized, as I stood before groups of students at the Roanoke Valley Governor’s School last week, that sometimes, I let that levity lull me into...
A PSA for my Fellow Helpers
One of the things I love about my work is that I get to be a part of big, life-changing work without being involved with life-threatening situations. Crisis counselors, E.R. docs, EMTs: Brava. Really. There are times – many times, I would imagine - where your...